Eunice
♥
"
Pale with the secret war of feeling,
Sustained with courage, mute, yet high;
The wounds at which she bled, revealing
Only by altered cheek and eye;"
bounce.
/Sunday, January 18, 2009
xoxo,19:57
have been tagging along with mom&dad the past few days stocking up on cny's stuffs&goodies.so its long walks, constantly getting up&down the car, helping to carry all the stuffs.
the usual squeeze with those last minute shoppers sharing our plight.
bought bakwa today. my favourite !! & went to the fish farm, veg & mushroom farms.
its like everything mommy cooks these days are from those farms. gosh. we are living the farmers' life. xD its also cuz we live so near these farms mommy prefers "farming" on weekends rather than the usual grocery shopping. oh well. i cant complain can i ? food's good !!(;
its essentially those long walks everywhere tts got me thinking about stuffs.
ive this urge to let it out somewhere before i burst&forget.
might as well here eh ?
it might be boring.
dont say i didnt warn you !
:
#1. i realize i tend to " i wish", "if only" & "what if" in my thoughts.
that's because im often in a state of nostalgia, or am just blindly, stupidly hopeful about the future. i realize in doing so im only building myself up for disappointment. which is silly. because what's past is past, it isnt gonna help looking back, while no amount of hoping for something nice to happen will make it happen.
so, im not gonna "i wish", "if only" or "what if " anymore. have faith&pray ! just as a wise person once told me. if it worked for him , it can work for me too. (;
-
#2. no matter who you are, you cant escape the sorrows that come with life - death. tragedies.
there's no point wishing for the perfect existence because it doesnt exist -while we're on earth- in the first place.
#3. people cant be relied on to be always agreeable to you, so why expect them to see&do things your way ? you'll only end up disappointed. again.
#4. life's not a contest. ive had had it with all the endless comparisons others do to me, & so inevitably of myself to others.
another person having less or more of something doesnt make me any richer or poorer..so its pointless to compare. a total waste of time. i only end up feeling smug, or lose my self-confidence and neither is a state i'd want to be in, thankyouverymuch !
my self-worth& happiness should come from within, not how i fare against others or how others regard me ! :D
& speaking of happiness..
#5. theres happiness & theres joy.. is there a difference ?
perhaps joy's something thats bubbling from within ?
whereas happiness' something something something.
like joy's more of something thats from the heart, while happiness is more superficial as compared to that ?
i dont really know how to explain what i think of those 2.. but i feel joy's something given, something more constant when you're awesomely blessed with it.
its common lingo to say "in pursuit of happiness" no one says "in pursuit of joy" do they ?? so my believe is that joy cant be pursued. its something, i guess, that you either have ,or not.
& im glad im blessedly joyful. im hardly ever sad or down in the dumps. people who know me will know that. im more of an optimist. i believe in looking on the bright side. of course theres a bad side to most things ive been told.. but so what ? isnt looking on the bright side still better if that is so ? (;
& yes. whatever happened to spontaneity & leaving things to chance & allowing life to be a bit messy ? theres always a bright side at the end of the tunnel & whilst in that tunnel, it can always be an adventure right ? xD
so my conclusion is : joy persists in all circumstances, wheres happiness comes&goes. happiness fluctuates. like yknw..the happiness level thingy ??
i really admire those people who are human enough to feel terrible in a personal storm, yet will still swim up to the surface faster than others. its like they bounce back..kinda. i guess thats what joy does.
&i wanna hang around these resilient,joyful,positive people. for many beautiful attitudes are caught rather than taught.