♥, Eunice

Eunice

♥

"Pale with the secret war of feeling,
Sustained with courage, mute, yet high;
The wounds at which she bled, revealing
Only by altered cheek and eye;"

hers, accordingly.

/Tuesday, January 20, 2009

xoxo,17:14

its really windy these days even the house feels windy without the usual need to plug in the fan & turn it on full speed.

anyways.
i decided to park my bum at home today. was supposed to go back to m.g today w mom so we could buy those nice new m.g shirts. but bro had to go tighten his braces. asked if i wanted to tag along i happily declined. no thank you ! i dont wanna hang around hospitals for quite awhile yet !! &besides, if i went ive gotta get up earlyyy. but ive got sleep to catch up on ! (;

guess we'll go tomorrow when im gonna be out too anyway to meet my aunt. she thinks im too busy nowadays & had alr pre-booked this date whn she visited me in hospital that time. LOL. she's so cute eh. & she, whn tgt with my mom make a real comical pair. like a very convenient source of entertainment whenever im out with them. really hilarious..in a way that takes awhile to understand.

oh yea.last night dad decided to book me into qantas intead. all for the price of $604. im kidding (; i understand, daddy. i really dont mind it anyway :D
i dont know why im actually excited for school to start again. i kinda miss that uwa-ness , the air, the lifee, the rush to get things done, & even the late night muggings & that whoosh of euphoria when the very last paper's finally done xD
thats weird. :x

my safari decided to be retarded today so i decided to try mozilla. like now (x &its just as cool ! the boring ol'i.e shld seriously be put in microsoft's museum already !D:

(my thoughts seem all over the place today. i wonder why.)

p.s i really love those long walks&talks&everything-else-all-included. (;

bounce.

/Sunday, January 18, 2009

xoxo,19:57

have been tagging along with mom&dad the past few days stocking up on cny's stuffs&goodies.

so its long walks, constantly getting up&down the car, helping to carry all the stuffs.

the usual squeeze with those last minute shoppers sharing our plight.

bought bakwa today. my favourite !! & went to the fish farm, veg & mushroom farms.

its like everything mommy cooks these days are from those farms. gosh. we are living the farmers' life. xD its also cuz we live so near these farms mommy prefers "farming" on weekends rather than the usual grocery shopping. oh well. i cant complain can i ? food's good !!(;

its essentially those long walks everywhere tts got me thinking about stuffs.

ive this urge to let it out somewhere before i burst&forget.

might as well here eh ?

it might be boring.

dont say i didnt warn you !

#1. i realize i tend to " i wish", "if only" & "what if" in my thoughts.

that's because im often in a state of nostalgia, or am just blindly, stupidly hopeful about the future. i realize in doing so im only building myself up for disappointment. which is silly. because what's past is past, it isnt gonna help looking back, while no amount of hoping for something nice to happen will make it happen.

so, im not gonna "i wish", "if only" or "what if " anymore. have faith&pray ! just as a wise person once told me. if it worked for him , it can work for me too. (;

#2. no matter who you are, you cant escape the sorrows that come with life - death. tragedies.

there's no point wishing for the perfect existence because it doesnt exist -while we're on earth- in the first place.

#3. people cant be relied on to be always agreeable to you, so why expect them to see&do things your way ? you'll only end up disappointed. again.

#4. life's not a contest. ive had had it with all the endless comparisons others do to me, & so inevitably of myself to others.

another person having less or more of something doesnt make me any richer or poorer..so its pointless to compare. a total waste of time. i only end up feeling smug, or lose my self-confidence and neither is a state i'd want to be in, thankyouverymuch !

my self-worth& happiness should come from within, not how i fare against others or how others regard me ! :D

& speaking of happiness..

#5. theres happiness & theres joy.. is there a difference ?

perhaps joy's something thats bubbling from within ?

whereas happiness' something something something.

like joy's more of something thats from the heart, while happiness is more superficial as compared to that ?

i dont really know how to explain what i think of those 2.. but i feel joy's something given, something more constant when you're awesomely blessed with it.

its common lingo to say "in pursuit of happiness" no one says "in pursuit of joy" do they ?? so my believe is that joy cant be pursued. its something, i guess, that you either have ,or not.

& im glad im blessedly joyful. im hardly ever sad or down in the dumps. people who know me will know that. im more of an optimist. i believe in looking on the bright side. of course theres a bad side to most things ive been told.. but so what ? isnt looking on the bright side still better if that is so ? (;

& yes. whatever happened to spontaneity & leaving things to chance & allowing life to be a bit messy ? theres always a bright side at the end of the tunnel & whilst in that tunnel, it can always be an adventure right ? xD

so my conclusion is : joy persists in all circumstances, wheres happiness comes&goes. happiness fluctuates. like yknw..the happiness level thingy ??

i really admire those people who are human enough to feel terrible in a personal storm, yet will still swim up to the surface faster than others. its like they bounce back..kinda. i guess thats what joy does.

&i wanna hang around these resilient,joyful,positive people. for many beautiful attitudes are caught rather than taught.

my oh my !

/Thursday, January 15, 2009

xoxo,12:10

OH HAPPY DAY !!

wheeeeee ive finally got the O.K from daddy to go out out outtttt . omg i sound like some deprived creature from outerspace. LOL.

i think ive spent at least a continuous gazillion of safe/sterile/absolutely clean&uncontaminated hours&minutes&seconds&milliseconds at home already..& am nearly bored to death. but thanks to Yonatan who came over to accompany me its not so bad..more bearable. (;

i realized ive become a little less responsive these days. it might be the meds.. or it could be the too much time spent stoning tt ive become quite stoned. --->@.@

its like ive nothing much to say most times..( which is why i havent been blogging as much & even cherlyn's complaining of the cobwebs in here ) i wonder why. im sorry if ive been a bore :(

-thats why mental stimulation's an absolute essential. might be just me though. LOL

anyhoos !

all's said & done, im thankful im finally painfree & healthy once again. & im gonna keep myself this way as long as i can , & by the grace of God of course !(;

i dont wanna ever be cooped up in a place for so long ever. ever again. thankyouverymuch!

CHERLYN !! BEV !!! LETS GO OUT NEXT WEEK !!!!

& im going OUT now.

GDBYE you people at home reading this. XD

twice in a blue moon ?

/Thursday, January 8, 2009

xoxo,16:55

my immune system must be having a recession too.

i feel like crap.

somemore cny's just round the cornerrr. :(

supposed to go out with mommy to shop for new year's goodies&all that fun stuff but it seems im to be homebound for the next i dunno ? i really hope im better by the weekend.

i wanna do things !! but the body ache is driving me nuts. even the weight of a cup feels like a ton.

yesterday was a complicated day.

so ill just vaguely tell like it is :P

i had cramps in the morning but decided to ignore it. i didnt wanna pangseh cherlyn. she told me last night everybdy's psing her. so yea after bfasting with mom i went to meet her :P

we went back to bukitviewsecondaryschool yesterday to visit.

its hardly a resemblance to the school i graduated from in '05.

even the school's theme color's changed ! from yellow&green to white&brown. its quite sad really. i miss the yellow&green. & although id complained much then, i really really wished its still yellow&green now. the uniforms plain ugly now.hmpf.

okay like shuddup abt the yellow&green already right ?

i managed to meet

-mdm gao

-mrs carmen mok ( sec 3&4 form teacher; much much missed !!! )

-mrs yvoonne ong ( although she didnt teach me i did go to her for mathematical advice :P )

-mr polo chan

-ms tham ( my sec1&2 geography teacher )

-ms gopal (the one who got cherlyn&i on "sentry duty" by the lockers xD )

-mr zulkefly ( who didnt recognise me at all.mygawd.its just 4 years !!! )

-mrs foong ( aka fongzi cuz shes really crazy then; sec3&4 chem teacher )&

-mr aw ( my sec3&4 physics teacher; he called me jennifer ?!& cherlyn, rebecca ?!?!?! !@$#^!%@$!!! ).

i was told mr subair ( sec 3&4 bio teacher ), mrs choo ck ( sec3&4 a&e math teacher )& dear ol' mr goh cy (sec 1&2 math teacher ) had already left the school. darn. i would really really love to have met them yesterday !!! i wanted to tell mr goh tt im in uni now. cuz he told he the day i went back to collect my o'lev results "eunice, must go uni ah." & mr subair believed in me tt i could actually do bio. mrs choo made me love sec3&4 a&e maths so much the textbooks&her lessons were like my inanimate bestfriends. im sucha nerd.~~then?~~ x6

after seeing all the teachers mentioned above i decided i couldnt last a moment longer, im sorry if i had to ps u cherlyn !!

i told Yonatan & he suggested i go see a doc. thank God he came to acc me or i think id have been at lost of what to do where to go etc etc. yesterday was really really painful.

the diagnosis: urinary tract infection. which is ascending no wonder my back (kidney area) hurts like crazy.

yup. so tts about it & tts why all plans from last night on were scrapped.

im glad im better today. at least no fever&vomitting like last night D:

whoever said being sick was fun must have been an idiot.

/Sunday, January 4, 2009

xoxo,16:11

ahhh the oldies bug again (x

bear with me !!

in the playlist :

{edit}

1. Sway- Bic Runga

2. The Shoop Shoop Song - The Shirelles

3. Seasons in the Sun - Blackbox Recorder

4. The Banana Boat Song - Harry Belafonte

5. Roses are Red - Barry Goldsforo

6. Papa Loves Mambo - Perry Como

{/edit}

so far.. :P enjoy !

through heaven's eyes (;

xoxo,00:07

A single thread in a tapestry
Through its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountain's mighty face
Does it think it's more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heaven's eyes
Lai-la-lai...

A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king
If a man lose ev'rything he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heaven's eyes

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance
Lai-la-lai...

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heaven's eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes

-Disney's Prince of Egypt : Through Heaven's Eyes.

this song puts things into perspective. doesnt it. (;

-reminds me not to look at things from the surface,to let go of the superficial annoying little things in life, & never to judge the worth of anything,anybody ,no matter how seemingly insignificant.

oh yea.

p/s get well soon uncle Boon Tee !! (:

crabs' murder

/Thursday, January 1, 2009

xoxo,21:40

as with many other random days whenever daddy's at home, we'll find things to 'celebrate' about. today's 1st Jan. & thus a feast is called for. xD

the feast was seriously DA BOMB.

mom&dad bought all the seafood yesterday. the vegs & other ingredients were shopped by mom&me just this afternoon. hehh.

okay ill shuttup now & let the pics do the talking.

i was in-charged of washing the crabs.they're very much alive okay.