Eunice
♥
"
Pale with the secret war of feeling,
Sustained with courage, mute, yet high;
The wounds at which she bled, revealing
Only by altered cheek and eye;"
xoxo,23:53
today's friday the thirteenth.i only realised it whn like twas nearly dinner today.
LOL.
this sun's singapore's Fathers' Day.
i forgot.
i havent gotten my dad anything.
i realised how much i relied on the adverts in shops&mags to know whats really going on.
&as you can see,there arent any Fathers' Day adverts here in oz.cos oz's Fathers' Day's in september.
im sucha a letdown.im really really sincerely sorry,Dad.really,i am.after all that you've done for me i cant for the life of me bloody remember when Fathers' Day is.
what should i do?
call&wish?
will you feel the same exhilaration mom felt when she got her Mothers' Day card posted all the way from here?
i want you to be happy,as happy as mom or even more.but how can you be?whn all you got was a call?
yea & then you'll tell me that all i have to do is do well in school.
why do you have to have such high hopes of me?why???havent i let you down before?why do you still believe in me?
the new friends ive made here commented that im really quiet.
well its cos i feel ive nothing much to say about everything, or that if i do it wont really matter anyhow.like even if i say no one will really understand.
i dont know whats gotten into me.the cat got my tongue perhaps?highly unlikely.but i wasnt like this before.i only realised how im really quiet these days just today.that ive really changed.or have i,really?i havent felt really truly happy for the longest time yet.maybe im depressed.though i really hope im not.but really, im sorry dear friends if ive been sucha damper.
& then to open up.
ive tried.but yet some old reflex in me keeps me from doing just that.though try as i might to overcome it, it dont seem to go away.
its like i cant help but hold back.
once bitten twice shy, they say.but i dont see why i should hold back.& then whn i try to open up.i choke freeze stop,& then nothing.
maybe im me no more.
i wanna be me again.
i needa get high.
blue beat.